Talofa and South Pacific greetings to all

I come here disturbed and sadden with heavy thoughts.

Working in youth ministry for practically half of my life I thought I would try something different - more of an extension of that ministry. So I took up a job as a babysitter at a home for troubled youth - one day a week, 8 hrs - sweet, don't really need the money but I thought to myself I've got some skills why not use it - so I took up the job. I have dealt with so many youth but never so much as troubled youth, youth that have been abused - mentally and physically, youth that have come from broken homes, youth that left home becos they have discovered they are adopted, youth that have fallen in with gangs, substance and alcohol abuse, youth that have been rejected by their parents and the list goes on and on.

In this house they call 'family home', the caregiver - a wonderful but firm social worker, does her best to reassure the kids that they are needed, that they are loved and that they are somebody. Many have succeeded and moved on, some have been bput into family homes, some have returned to their families and others sometimes just don't want it and return to a life of crime.

In the home we have a five year old resident, a native, smart child, vibrant and active as any five year old - sadly exposed to such horrific acts of physical and mental abuse from a deraged step father and

Talofa, Kia-ora and South Pacific Greetings to all!

Just wanted to write a little about World Youth Day.

I attend the one held in Cologne, Germany 2005 and it was an event that change my life and enhanced my faith quite dramatically!

World Youth day is a gathering of Catholic/ Christian youth from around getting together every2-3 years at a country assigned. A week long of festivities, concerts, seminars etc about faith and how our part as a youth is vital to spread the love and word of our Lord and share our faith with everyone and anyone. It is a phenominal event and I do encourage anyone travelling to Sydney in 2008 to registar and come and join us it has attracted enormous amounts of people in Manilla, Phillipines it went up to 4 million and in Cologne, Germany at least a million - its bigger than the Olympics. Check out the sites www.worldyouthday.com to get a better understanding.

As I read through this poem I am interested to know what people think? Please comment, I will answer on my thoughts after....

I KNOW NOW

We grew up together, so innocent and so close
Marveling in each others discoveries
You knew I would drift when I reached adolescence
And embraced rebellion,

Pushing you away by questioning your love
Doubting your works and words
The Importance of being counted in this World kept you at a distance,
Building a wall of shame, anger and emptiness around my heart,
Ready to take on the world by myself

Suddenly I was alone and lost
Battered and torn with despair, confusion and no hope,
You chiseled through my man-made wall
Your spirit busting it down,
Pouring in, to comfort and encourage me

You found me
Weak, naked with embarrassment and broken in Spirit
Your Spirit covered me, held me and carried me
Blessing me with Strength and hope

You bandaged and cared for my wounds-
To heal and restore my trust and faith in you
You melted my sorrows, despair and loneliness away
Yielding me to my knees-exhausted with pain,
next to you I gained my independence and freedom

You make me feel whole, safe and ready for lifes challenges
Because of my lies, my sins, my mocking, my disobedience
You sacrificed your life to forgive and to save me

I am in awe with you,
my Heart beats rapidly, making my chest heave heavily in your presence,
My eyes in fixation as I look at you,
my ears attentive with great absorption On your every written word,
My mind goes mad with my lips singing and praising your name,
Butterflies in my stomach flutters as I sit in our Fathers House

I am refreshed, when I stand in the wind and feel you breathe on me,
I am cleansed, when I stand in the rain to be drenched with your blessing,
I uplift my hands out to the Sun to feel your greeting
From the warmth of the rays,
I look unto the stars and moon to see you wishing me Goodnight,
Your graces surround me in Nature and life

I am proud, because you Know me
I am vain, by introducing you to everyone I meet
I am in love, as my admiration strives
To live in accordance with you
You are my Alpha, You are my Omega
JESUS, You are my Saviour

I wrote this poem a couple of years ago, it was about the time when there was a growing number of young women in Samoa who were pregnant, gave birth and abandoned their babies, some pre-mature, some left out for dead either at the river banks, drowned in the currents or the water pools or abandoned naked to fend in the elements - such a dark time. The thing that amazes me is that they always find the women who did this. Young mothers, ashamed and afraid to tell their families, some rejected by their boyfriends who were either not known to the family or was a married man or maybe a result of a one night stand, or a hidden or incesterial rape? - whatever the case, a life was taken.

I know there a many factors to consider that come into this, issues of many ways of prevention or sexual education, the woman's health etc etc - but I rather just keep it simple and say "that aside, this is just my thoughts on such a dark issue". As I read through it, I know it's not a masterpiece that it could never be considered as a poem but more of inner thoughts that I try to imagine and see myself as the child - it is very amature. So I welcome professional help and criticisim...hahaahahaha


I am not yet born,

Yet I can feel, hear, taste, touch – LIVE
I am in solitude, though I know I’m not alone
I am guilty, for this womb of sorrow
Through the vibrations of screaming voices and wailing
I hear the shame of my existence,
I feel the confusion and fear of this incubator’s soul

I am not yet born,

With anxiety and fear,
I am moving swiftly
Feeling each pounding step beneath me,
Feeling each pounding heartbeat above me,
Fear is exerted through the pores of the skin
with each sweat drop

I come to an abrupt halt!

Suddenly – wretched out into the cold brightness
Before time, incomplete, cold
flying into another watery existence
I am no longer!

Father! Why do you deny me?
Mother! Why are you ashamed of me?
My aiga! – help me, save me!-do you know of me?
Why are you afraid of me!

You coward!
I am innocent, like Jesus
you have found me guilty without trial
Convicted-knowing death is the verdict
I return to my creator unwrapped, unloved, unwanted
To be comforted and cradled in his arms

There, I will await for you
when you ask Him for forgiveness
There I shall be waiting to comfort you

Without Shame, sadness or sorrow
Without confusion, fear or anger
My chance of love I have for you

When I was not yet born.

Talofa, Kia-Ora and South Pacific greetings to all!

"At last" I say to myself when I accidentally stumbled upon this wonderous site -with a blog opening up to opinions on world views etc etc!

Today is Friday, 19 January 2007 and I am thankful it is the end of the Week! Next Monday is a public Holiday (Wellington Anniversary) that I am everso looking forward to in veging out for a day at the moment my brain is fried. We have a newcomer to our Youth Prog, Antonia and shes only 11 years old - absolute natural on air and with the guidance of Paula she is gonna fly thru her programme.

So, as I think back on the fact that I worked right through the holidays I'm actually looking forward to this break that is just six months away with great and NEEDED anticipation.

Plans for the weekend? spent with my father's family at the beachhouse in Titahi Bay organising and planning the family reunion - Kiwi Sector - funny, my father passed away 3 years ago and his family awaits on me to organise this for them. Mind you, how the Samoan saying goes "O i le sa to ai lou pute" (translation: Here is where my placenta was buried or here is where I planted my navel) meaning my paternal side is my foundation. Being the eldest of the eldest grandchild(my dad) of the eldest son (my grandfather) of the eldest patriarch (my great-grandfather) it seems and feels natural that I must step up and bind the families. My paternal great grandparents hail from the larger Island of Samoa, Savaii from the villages of Falealupo, Asau, Sagone and Samalaeulu - I am a descedent of the Solia (Falealupo) and Matalavea (Sagone) Su'emalo (Samalaeulu) titles - I don't think they are as presitiges but to know this, that I am from Savaii makes me even more proud.

As history tells, the volcano on the island of Savai'i erupted sending the people of the villages that was in the path of her eruption fleeing to the sea, sailing and landing in the villages of Sa'anapu and Leauva'a and I'm sure around the other coastal villages. Well, my family landed on Leauva'a and have flourised from there. My grandfather, eldest of 16 children, 8 boys, 8 girls - my father, eldest of 10, 3 sets of twins were deceased leaving only four - 1 girl and 3 boys, me, eldest of 2, my sister and I. Homebase is Taufusi, Upolu whilst the land in Leauva'a is being looked after by one of my great uncle's grandson- we all gud! Family religion is strickly Roman Catholic and if you married into a different religion - you are automatically cut-off, I come from a family of catechis, the 8 older children were catechists with the only faletua of a catechist, whilst the younger 8 were free to choose which lead to the ousting of an aunt who married a seventh day adventist, two uncles one married a morman and the other married a divorcee - but from these families, they are the more committed ones that always are there to contribute to family faalavelave and are very fa'amaoni. As for the others, well, with the changing of times, the lure of the city life and it's social scene, many have lasped, not bothered with oratory and family stance, forgeting about the morals, traditions and standards the family had accept for the ones that went abroad. My great-grandparents would be turning in their tombs with what has been happening that has torn the family appart. Thank goodness this nonsence has not spilt over to those that are established abroad.

Hence, discussions of organising a family reunion with the guidance of my aunts and uncles. My father was the chief of our family here in NZ, now that he has gone with my great aunt who was the matriach following behind a year later - the family are looking towards the first NZ generation to take up the reigns and return the family to some type of normality. So I pray to God to give me the strength and faith to combine this together, that it will be successful without personality ego trips because being the BIARCH that I am, I doubt that would happen.

N E ways - pray for me